Same Ol' Shit

mhhm yea that about sums it up. . .Things STILL HAVE NOT changed with BD (babydaddy) I find it quite annoying. He still has no job and still dependent on his mommy dearest! UGH *puke face* I'm slowly but surely starting to resent (sp?) him already. . .I never ever wanted things to be like this. I wanted to have a family and be happy and give my son what he deserves. BUT it is just impossible with John. He lacks motivation in every aspect. While im working 5 days out of the weeks buying everything for our baby! I mean don't get my wrong I am proud of myself everytime i walk into little Leo's room and see his crib his pretty yellow room and some of his clothes, and think wow i really can do this alone. . .then i get sad. I really wish i had HIM here to help he could have really turned things around i really do believe. He has never had the best relationship with my mother, but i really do believe he could have changed that...IF when we found out i was pregnant he stepped up to the plate automatically bc that's what he should have done but NO, not him. Here i am 21 weeks pregnant and he still hasn't got a job.

His mom did come by yesterday. . .because she finally wanted to buy something for the baby. I am not saying it's her respnosibility but i mean my mom even my aunt and uncle have bought little things already. I just thought it would be the same with her. . .well she came buy at first she texted me and was like why doesnt john want to go buy baby things with us". . .i txtd back "because hes a loser" and then she was like "stop the fighting plz" okkkk mom? um nooo. she really annoys me. Does she not see how lame and lazy her son is and she does nothing to help him she just feeds into his little fits and fills his tank gives him money every week the list goes on. WELL no god damn wonder he hasn't got a job YOU do it all for him!!! I swear my son will be NOTHING like his father! ok got to calm down before i break my keyboard. SO anyways she left me 120$ to go get this baby sleeper i wanted and some extra to get whatever. So i got the sleeper and i went to Burlington and OF COURSE THEY WERE OUT and it had to be the same freaking lady that made me wait an hour for my crib that "helped me" she didnt even go look to make sure they didnt have any in the back. she was just like yea we dont have anymore. i think i will not go there anymore but the prices are just too good...lol idk. *sigh* well i went to babies r us they had it:] more expenisive of course. . .but yea i got it and i got some monkey sticker decals to put up on Leo's wall it is coming along so nice!!!! Im in love with his room!

his mom then asked me what happened to the piggy bank she got for the baby, and i said it's a johns. . .you should have known that. ( it had about 30$worth of change from her already) You  know he took all the money, she made a disgusted face oh what was i supposed to do fight him while i was pregnant get all upset. yea i got upset pleading to him do not take it we can use it for the baby. instead he left went to use the coin machine at bilo and came back with cash. . .Then she was like what happened to the laptop i gave him. HE PAWNED IT DUHH. gah this women is so stupid, slow or just blind and cant see who her own son really is! she then said well you should be proud you have done all of this and he has done nothing. i said "yea" then she was like you gotta be patient with John. im like yea i try and you know that, but how long exactly am i supposed to be patient BS. whatever women.